Sometimes we just need to step back out of our normal routine and stop to catch a breath. We live in a funny world where everything has been narrowed down to competition; everything we do has to have been done by someone for us to compare ourselves. In writing this, I have been a victim of the circumstance. I know I have done things that I have seen people do without asking myself if that is what I wanted to do.
What do I want? I want to succeed, share, communicate, contribute and inspire. I want to be open and courageous enough to give voice to what I want to be accepted and appreciated. I want to love and be loved. I want to be free from fear.
This attitude of not hiding or shying away from life is what I call ‘warriorship’. For me, warriorship is also about my battle with my fears and insecurities. Remembering that we will be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because everything- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. Steve Jobs said this.
We all live in constant fear that what we do will not be approved by our friends, parents or the society. We have let their expectations of us shape our way of thinking. This has never been nor will ever be a good thing. For the last couple of weeks, I have learnt a lot in this life. I have learnt that the only decisions that will change the way you act are your decisions. In as much as everyone expects me to behave or talk or walk or dress in a certain way, the only person who can make that happen is me. I have also learnt that most of the people around us want us to live a life similar to theirs, if they are kind enough, or below theirs for their comfort to be within the levels they withstand. People will always want to be above you, some people will go to the extent of making sure that you remain below their standards. You have to define your own standards and live to it. You cannot let anyone’s slightest comments ruin you.
It is perfectly normal for humans to want to be superior to another, no one wants to be seen lacking. We have conformed to the notion of trying to fit even where we do not belong. I was going through my meme gallery (my daily dose of bliss) a while ago and this one simple meme caught my attention. I spent the entire meme session thinking about the picture that spoke a thousand words to me. It was a slice of an onion sandwiched between orange slices. However much alike and fitting the onion seemed to be with the orange, it wasn’t where it was supposed to be; its rightful place. In fact, that is what most of us do not realize. I admit that I had never given a thought about where I belong in this life. I have always let situations and circumstances shape what I want to be and how I want to act.
Sometimes, all you need to do is step back and observe the path our life has taken. Is that where you want to go? Is that really what you want to do? Is that what your heart wants you to do? You need to ask yourself questions of this kind if you really want to live a fruitful life. We cannot all be apples; some of us are oranges, some of us are mangoes. Of course not literally. We cannot all be of the same kind. There is a lot more to life than we tend to live. Why die pretending to be a lemon while your stem is a plum? Why kill yourself so quick when all you can do is be you. That is all that takes. No less, no more. And the only permission you need to have is from you. Why deny yourself the pleasure of living your life at the expense of the friends. Why try to fit where you do not belong? This doesn’t mean you should not associate with anyone different from us. Our lives cannot be complete without friends or people close to us, that is why we have spaces between our fingers; so as to fit onto another’s and perfectly complement one another.
This life will always amaze me, I learn everything new each day.